We can all agree that Barack OBama is a force in America as strong as the sleeping giant that lived beneath the sea in that Cloverfield movie. The tsunami of political excitement behind him could destroy the Brooklyn Bridge the same way the Godzilla-Fish did in C-field, killing off b-story characters in even 10 other movies, and young people all over America would love it because really, there's no way George Bush could ever destroy a bridge like that. I mean, he's destroyed tons of bridges, but none in that way. It was so young, so passionate. (Single tear runs down face, begin mouthing, "Change we call all believe in...")
But Barack OBama has another ace up his sleeve that he's subtley been pulling all along and I believe it's the reason that America is drawn to him the same way American's are drawn to shows about being fat and then getting unfat. He is the real life incarnation of President David Palmer on 24. (Note: If you never watched 24, think Dennis Haysbert, the strongly comforting yet gravely serious man on the Allstate commercials. Can you afford not to be in good hands? NO.)
OBama came out of pretty much nowhere with a commanding presence among voters leading a resounding chorus of Change, and vying to be America's first black president. David Palmer emerged from nowhere to be the first black president in fake America on Fox and take the country by storm. In his time as President on 24 there were attempts on his life, a plot to blow up Los Angeles, and a crazy ex-Lost Boy risking his life and family to protect him no matter what. You never knew what David Palmer stood for, you just knew that he would furrow his brow, sharpen his tone, and take absolutely no crap and you would happily accept that. Sound familiar? I have no clue what OBama stands for. Possibly using stem cells to power hybrid vehicles that give out free health care. All I know is, that man looks wistfully off into the sky, and says things that captivate me and cause me wear pins on my coat. That is power. The kind of power that needs protection by Keifer Sutherland. An older Keifer that is in really good shape for an actor of his age.
For this whole theory to hold true, a few things must happen in the months before November. Michelle OBama must come out as a crazy, power hungry, insane woman (aka, Sherry Palmer, wife of David Palmer on 24, Season 1). Since this role cannot be played by one who's workshopped it, Hillary Clinton (oh snap! Yes I di'id!), Michelle will follow with the trifecta of forming an alliance with her husband's chief of staff, planting a young intern in his hotel room one night, and later seek to deceive Keifer Sutherland. All these things will be thwarted by OBama's character, stern determination, and the kind of powerful command that would land him a leading role on The Unit.
Obama would not be swayed by any terrorists, any plot by kidnappers, and anyone threatening to kill his secret agent friend's beautiful daughter, Elisha Cuthbert. He even seems like the kind of man who would endanger his political success for a friend - a friend that has to get back to CTU because Chloe keeps getting really frustrated at everyone in the office and isn't getting encryption keys out fast enough.
I can only believe that the writers of 24 were watching Obama as they cooked up David Palmer to prepare America for the political tour de infatuation that would be dropped on them years later. And now that he is here, rest easy, for you are in good hands America. But don't be surprised when there's one bananas 24-hour period where Opalmera exchanges a bajillion phone calls with Keifer Sutherland to live through cliffhanger plot changes, merciless torture scenes, and a surprise ending of change we can all believe in...beep, boop, beep, boop, beep, boop.....
"I am your reality, President Palmer."
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