BWE.tv SPORTS: Some Other Country, er..., World, Really Cares About Some "Match" Tonight

Chances are you're spending your Spring keeping it chill, going to the park with some bro's tossin' the fris around...maybe making a playlist of some OAR live shows if you're keeping really chill. But unless you're in the .01% of our population that really cares about all things European more than just H&M and Lily Allen, you are probably not gearing up for that really big football match happening tonight. No, not that kind of football.


The rest of the world is really freaking out right now because the Champions League final tonight between Premier League rivals Chelsea and Manchester United is going to be a proper match up. What? I know, I don't even know what I just wrote. Basically, David Beckham's old team is playing a pretty big game. Which is weird because he doesn't play for them anymore, so you figured they wouldn't be any good now, since he's like the Kobe Jordan of soccer, right?

In the past two days I've had people ask me about the game and who I'm cheering for, and to be honest, I'm really just thinking about that All American Summer on NBC. Nashville Star, Last Comic Standing, American Gladiators, and America's Got Talent? Why would I watch a long, low scoring game, when I can tune into a show hosted by Ozzy's wife and that British dude from the last Apprentice that ended its last season by crowning a ventriloquist that 'got' talent? Really, Europe? Your game is that much better? This dude made puppets talk. To me that screams, "Gooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllll!!!!!!"

Seriously, the game tonight is pretty legendary considering that a Chelsea and Man United matchup would be a huge game any time, save the finals of the Champions League. But really, America, let's be honest. Here's a list of other things we'll be doing otherwise:

1. Watching Dale get angry and act like a chef cum thug on Top Chef while Spike wears some pretty great fedoras.

2. Watching that Dark Knight trailer again and counting the days.

3. Checking in to see if David Archuleta, the male Charlotte Church, wins Idol.

Those don't sound that exciting. But nevertheless, I trust us to do that instead. Don't get me wrong, I like soccer, but I like it the way I like really long books. I like to talk about them, want to get around to them, and ultimately rely on other people's information about them. (Brothers Karamazov? Yeah, I know about it...sorta..it's those brothers, and everyone has weird, changing names...I think.) So tomorrow, tell me about that match, World. Really, just if David Beckham's team won or not. I don't know much about Chelsea.